I am happy for having u ard becos u push me to learn more each n every day. n i like learning so much. i like being “in the know”. i like acquiring knowledge. 
yes my ba lovelies, acquire a.k.a. 习得. oh did i mention, night before last, i cldnt slp. n i resorted to reading 论语 lol. yes, the confucian analects. managed to finish 学而篇第一 looool.
*yixin is listening to the very wonderful Lee Lessack..* oh which reminds me. i have yet to be able to get reba mcentire n tony bannett for ma. 
haiz. mebbe ill shop online n get it for ma for v-day looool.
yes me likes acquiring knowledge. idk why. haf always been like tt since young looooooool. hehx. im going crazy. oh yes and just heard some staggering statistics about teachers. oh my stars. *am i in the wrong profession with my very unstable mind????* lol. it’s quite scary! maybe i shld call for a booking/reservation first. in case no bed space for me nxt time lol.
this has been my “dream” since i was young:
to learn abt the 4 major religions in sg in-depth. which means to learn them so well tt i can quote all 4 religion’s Holy Books e.g. the Qu’ran, the Bible, the Buddhist scriptures … without misunderstanding. it’s like my ultimate goal in this area. which i havent started on yet. i do have to work on my self-discipline.
another “dream” is to be able to play the piano sooooo well i dont have to be world-famous. but well enough. i wanna be able to play in hotel lobbies/piano bars/piano lounges.. i wanna be able to play so well tt i can inspire kids to wanna learn piano too.. hehx. i think im too ambitious looool. i probably am lar. but still, a little hope can go a long way when u work on it i think.
ultimately, i reaaaaly wanna gain as much knowledge as i can. i wanna be like my dad. u can ask him stuff about politics, finance, arts, religion, history, geography … and he can discuss almost everything with you. of course, my dad is quite .. *urm, how do i say this* *urms* has quite strong ideas sometimes he’s quite 执着 about his ideas sometimes lar.
but, it’s pretty cool when u can sit with him n ask him stuff about literature n he can start talking about when, how, why the poet wrote this in such a way with relevance to history and geography.. haiz. i wanna be like him so much~! haiz. mebbe dad’s the reason why i always feel good when i learn stuff.
yes i am in the process of reading the Analects cos it’s my short-term goal! it’s my goal for this semester
btw, was reading quan yifeng’s blog the past few days and came across a post which was kinda like a letter to her daughter.. n i was so touched when i read it.. and i thought of my parents.. everyday i see them, and day by day, i see them age but i dont really feel it except these few years.
i hear my mom complaning abt her elbow, dad abt his back.. haiz. when they do throwing it’s like a lot of stress on their back n arms bt they still have to do it. becos its what they do. and they have to do it. and dad has like, urm, 4-5 (i think) group shows this year. tho there arent any solos (which will make him very busy n always wears him down quite a bit), but 4-5 groups is also very hard on him!
haiz. i noe it’s not possible for my parents to be around forever. but i wanna be here for them for as long as i can.
妈、爸：
你们老的时候，我会不顾一切照顾你们。我一定会尽我的全力给你们好日子过。女儿深知，你们是不可能会像正常人一样“退休”的，反而会一直继续做，做到真的没办法时，还是会继续做。可能女儿对某些事物的执著、固执就是从你们这里遗传来的吧。你们应该不知道，看到你们做到那么的辛苦，女儿的心真得好痛好痛，因为女儿完全帮不上忙。不能帮你们拉佩、搓泥、打底、篆刻等。唉。有时候真的觉得怎么做女儿都能做得这么失败，看着父母那么辛苦是一点忙都帮不上。我现在唯一能做的就是尽我所能，每个月给你固定的一笔小数目，就这么多而已。
看着你为我担心，虽然有时候觉得很烦，但是心里总还是情不自禁地甜滋滋、暖和和的。因为我知道你们担心是因为你们对我的爱。而世界上唯一能给我父母亲的爱的人，当然只有你们了。妈、爸，女儿答应你们，一定会尽我所能得给你你所需要的一切。我不管要做什么，女儿一定会给你们最好最好的一切，让你们过最幸福、最满足的生活。以我对你们的了解，这时候你应该会说：“只要你们开开心心，健健康康，我们就满足了”。可能确实如此，但我想让你们能够无忧无虑的创作！创作出一件件最完美的作品！
我知道，你们不需要大房子，不需要佣人，不需要山珍海味，但我会给你们无限创作的空间，我要给你们一个不需要担心生活的自由空间。我希望能给你们的，是让你们不需要为生活担心，能够完完全全的、全心全意的创作。妈，女儿知道你为了我们这三个在你眼里永远长不大的小不点付出了十余年的时间。放弃了您最喜爱的儿童艺术教学。为的就是能够养大我们，培养我们成为社会中的有用之人。爸，女儿也知道，您不喜欢做 commission 的作品。但是为了养活我们一家，再麻烦你也做了，在这许许多多的时候放弃了您的创作自由。
妈、爸，你们成功了！因为我觉得，我们三个都已经懂事了，我们长大了。我们不仅能照顾自己，还能照顾其他人。哥还在寻找自己的生活道路，但是比起以前已经大大地进步了。他还会关心我们这些小的呢。而我，以后会当老师哩！是要教导下一代的优秀人哦！艺涵吗，在学校不是学生领袖吗？老师都这么器重她。看到她那么懂事，连我这个当姐姐的都感到欣慰，你们应该很引以为荣吧？
看，我们这三个小不点，如果没有你们的牺牲，没有你们的细心灌溉，那可能会走到这里？你们可能不知道，但是，我们三个都非常非常地爱你们哦！！不要迟疑，不要怀疑！因为我们看到了你们为了我们的牺牲。我们看到了你们的努力，你们的委屈。为你们感到心疼、不忿。为你们为了我们而失去的机会感到不公平。但是我们也明白，这就是所谓的“父/母爱”。我想，我们为你能够报答你们的方法就是开开心心、健健康康的，做个“好人”。看到人家有需要时适当的帮助他们，对社会作出多一些贡献，以你们对我们的爱的方式，爱回社会上的人、我们周围的人。
爸、妈，女儿答应你们，在你们年老的时候，当你们记性变差的时候，回想起我们小时候你们对我们的耐心和细心，然后以更多的爱和关怀来帮助你们。
当你们行动不便的时候，我会记起你当时是如何教我走路，我会轻轻地扶着你、再你身边陪伴着你。
当你们唠唠叨叨的时候，我会清楚知道是因为你们牵挂，我会了解是因为你们想找个人聊天，我会坐在你身旁、紧握你的手听你说话。
当你孤独的时候，我会陪你一起到后山走走，我会听你重复小时候的趣事。我会煮饭给你吃。有必要的话，我会喂你吃。我答应你，我会用我百分之五百的精力照顾你、体贴你、爱惜你。我会在你生气的时候抱着你，在你累的时候看着你睡，在你孤单的时候陪你聊天。
我想让你们知道你们在女儿的心中永远摆在第一位。不会有任何妥协，永远都会摆在第一位。
爸、妈，我爱你。:)
