quintessentially banausic

so.. urm.. these jap guys, they’re supposed to go back to japan tomorrow morning on the 0630 hr flight.. and they were juz over here n we got quite a fun time lar.. they were sorta trying to teach us Jap n… haha. made a lot of jokes. examples:

Eng: please take a seat
Jap: suate kudasai (or sth not sure wat it is exactly)
my dad’s friend’s interpretation: sua teng ku pang sai (i.e. squat down on shit on the hill top in hokkien)

etc etc etc.. anyways .. haha.

apparently P. Charn’s theatre group or sth is here in singapore for tdy and tml performing in the M1 Singapore Fringe Festival 2006. oh well but he’s in bangkok. haha. anyways, im kinda freaked out a little by him lar. shhhhhh………….

btw, mum brought me for massage today.. this very pro woman lar. supposed to help me wid weight loss. n anyways, since my digestive system isn’t good (like i’ve been having troubles wid my intestines, stomach, blah blah since like… primary school? ever since i could remember anyways) so yar. according to her, i got like… 3 kg of shit in my stomach?? inclusive of undigested food *which i gather is my lunch that i downed abt 45 mins before d massage???* so it’s 3 kg! so urm, i’m gonna try drinking WINTEA or sth. urmm… it’s a lot u noe?? 3 kg!!!! i could get back to the not-so-overweight range of 45kg in no time if thats d case. weva it’s true or not, i’m juz gonna gif it a shot ‘cos i’m SO desperate to lose weight. i’m …. FAT!!

now: freaking out session for results

OMG!!!!!!! i havent had nightmares abt it but i’ve had ‘day-mares’ or sth. like.. on d bus, n i’ll juz zone out.. and suddenly i’ll think of a FFF-F result slip. and freak out back into reality. so yar i hope my subconscious mind doesn’t affect d actual result slip results.. haha. not tt i’m so powerful. but. yar. i’m freaking out. incoherent. blah. blah. blah. yadda. yadda. yadda. so yar.

i’m gonna drink WINTEA now. n try to get rid of my 3kg of shit.

*ps. hweeming. if i really have 3kg of shit, i only need to lose 2/3 more kg in d nxt 2 mths to meet d target.. =))* *cross my fingers n hope it’s true*

today i shall write a long long looooooooong blog post cos i havent blogged for so long. everytime i reach home den my bro oways using d com!!! correction* actually he’s using his laptop but he refuses to buy a router (his prev. one is spoilt becos he nvr use for so long) and says sth like: if u wan u buy lar! like i’m very rich rite???? hello????????? i’m like..UNEMPLOYED! and constantly fucked up by ppl who always nvr fail to ask: why u not working HUh? why you unemployed AGAIN HUH??? why u NOT looking for a job HUH? like what the fuck lar! just shut d fuckin’ hell up n i’m sure i don’t mind. attention: if you guys don’t know me and what i’m going thru every single day and what i do. DON’T COMMENT!! you’re IRRESPONSIBLE and just plain IGNORANT by saying all those stuff that isn’t true. you SNOBS!!!!! and STOP trying to slam job opportunities on me ‘cos i can look for them myself! AND u guys don’t know what i’m looking for ‘cos so obviously you’re not me!

“DON’T TRY TO TELL ME WHAT’S RIGHT FOR ME!!!!!”

ok fine. so tts it for the very infuriating job part.

now. for d day before ydae post tt i was supposed to post d dae before ydae.

urm, morning, 830 am we went (my family fwen, me, mum, and myfamily fwen’s jap fwens) to my aunt’s organic vegetable farm. i haven’t been there in years.. haha.. precious memories.. anyways, yar. n there were so many ‘mostikos’ *dun kill me xy* anyways, yar. so i’m like totally covered in ‘mostiko’ stings. urm… den we went to… urh….. oh! hmm some seaside which stank n was quite littered wid salted fish i.e. dead fish. which explains partially why it stank rite? den saw this group of American tourists i tink. talking about WW2 stuff and WTH!!!!!! they were like: oh and the British and Americans resisted and fought their hearts out (or sth or the other) and the Japanese landed along this coastline and .. blah blah blah.. yadda yadda yadda..

like what the fuck!!!! yar like call the British retreating from Singapore by the dunno how many’th dae and leave us to the Jap DEN when d Jap were down they come back and claim all the credit for themselves. what the fuck! you stupid morons!! u had no idea, do u?? ignorant little bastards!! sry for d use of vulgarities but what can i sae?? they are! *shrugs* nothing but capitalist lunacists and manipulators of other humans.

ok finish. for the morning..

den we had traditional Hakka meal.. urm.. lei cha.. very nice.. haha. cos my uncle is Hakka mah. den summore he runs a vegetable farm.. sighx. anyways, after tt we went Hay Diaries Goat Farm!! meeeeehhhhh~ haha. d goats very cute!! but very stinko. so yar.. den we bought goat’s milk.. very nice! aiyo~ really very nice lar. like cow’s milk. *of cos i bought d chocolate flavored one in case got some weirdy taste*

den we went to d koi farm. d koi is like… FAT!!! d length of my entire arm wid d thickness of my thigh *and more!!!* but d colours are very nice.. den we saw the dragonfish.. d medium sized ones, like d length of 3/4 my arm and thickness of my calves cost.. GUESS!! a whopping $4000!!! read my lips!!! 4 thou!!!! 4-0-0-0!!! so ex!! okay fine. so yar den we went sungei buloh wetland reserves. quite nice lar. tranquil in a sense. altho got lots of ‘mostikos’.. so yar tts my dae there lo…

okay so now for juz pure blogging purposes:

i’m like a part-time FOC tutor for my boiboi lar.. haha.. juz cos d topic was differentiation and integration.. haha.. can still rmb stuff from O’s.. yup.. and

THANK YOU!! thanks for my meimei lo.. help me find tutoring job.. *but she havent contacted me yet so yar.. * i’ll be patient.. =))
and d peeps who help me do d johari window thing.. quite cute. haha….. juz hope tt ppl who do it tell d truth more than juz wanna flatter ppl there lo.. don’t think i’m really tt flattering tho..

yar n my dearest charmaine!!! urm i’ve been kinda dreaming to join a band someday.. *i really miss those days back in sec. sch. band….* yar den char contacted me wid this band lobang. d point is, i haven’t played my horn since Etude 29! like.. 2 years ago?? yar n i havent used my diaphragm for so long wat if i go there n cant even get a single note out??!! oh no… i’m freaking out………

n the A’s! coming out on wed! like wth lar… sighx…… so mayb i will go NIE. mayb i will go poly. mayb i go work for a couple of years first.. who knows? lets wait until my results are out…. *cross my finger and pray*

since everyone seems to have this on their blog i thot i’d take a poke at it so.. here goes nothing….

http://kevan.org/johari?name=hyixinmadness

okay fine.. so i was supposed to start updating my blog like… 45 mins ago but ended up reading the swim team blog.. (AND their archives… luckily there wasn’t many posts) so yar.. and i’m here.. and i don’t know what to write.. and i’m juz blogging for d sake of blogging.. so.. here goes nothing!

my phone is super konking out on me and i don’t know why and i need money to get a new phone and this time i’m gonna get a NOKIA ‘cos i’ve tried d rest and they SUCK! so i’m gonna switch back to my NOKIA.. and yar i need income in order to do that ‘cos my parents won’t be paying..

and i need income to pay my phone bills… =(( plus i owe myself so much money.. like…… no pocket money but need to spend so i’m digging into my debit card n savings account and it’s going ot go into negative amount soon and i’m staring at a GIGANTIC ant as i type this so don’t blame me if there’s a typo.. i mean the ant’s ENORMOUS! i think it’s eyeing my fruits that i chewed into half juz now cos i’ was LS-ing.. like.. watery poo LS. so yar. no gross details.

n my period’s not here yet and it’s starting to worry me ‘cos its seldom late.. i seem to be quite unhealthy lately.. lack of exercise, couch potato-ing, surf net-ing, computer gaming blah blah blah…

today went to PRINTS!!! find my dear leilei.. haha. urm, bought this 2thousand6 notebook quite nice lar and two pens.. and it’s expensive ‘cos i got no spending power but i bio this book a long time le.. yar den made a tag for it too!! it’s gonna look great!! gonna go down to collect the tag tml evening i guess..
yupyupyup!

we were supposed to go for fondue together at haagen-dazs but apparently (and i don’t know the heck why) today’s esplanade is out of fondue so we had ice cream instead.. =))

i had a nice lunch wid boiboi, francis, xl and wm today! we had bar chor mee. very nice lar. d chopped chillis are quite spicy..it’s near d deli&grill place me n xl went to d last time.. =)) guess who i met!! HAN SAI PORH!! not that a lot of ppl would noe who she is lar but juz lemme update a bit on her special identity:

1) she is d TOP sculptor in singapore
2) she is a !@$@%$#$^#$%3 genius who was INVITED into MENSA (or whichever association it is.. it’s for geniuses. international group)! *NOTE! INVITED!*
3) she has so many degrees that i don’t know where to start from
4) she’s 6++ yrs old but looks really young
5) she’s super duper very blur n wouldn’t noe tt u’re talking to her unless u tap her shoulders to let her noe
6) a friend of my daddy’s n we used to rent a place from her near seletar airbase ( I LOVE THAT PLACE… *reminisces* pardon the spelling errors if any)
7) if i’m not wrong, she’s currently pursuing a architectural course in NUS
the glass balls near SCH (tanjong pagar) are her works

basically, she’s superb n i admire her a lot..

before i forget, NEW YORK BROWNIE at HAAGEN-DAZS is really good!!!

so.. urm..

lunch: check, book: check, pen: check, auntie sai porh: check, ice-cream: check.. tts about it i guess. all for my boring day… anyways, i’m super excited to see d tag tml!! hope it turns out as well as/better than expected.

btw, i heard tt we din do well for d A’s… hope it’s for d overall cohort (as in whole singapore cohort) i hope it ain’t true…. =(( and there’s word that it’s gonna come out on d 1st/3rd march.. so let’s wait and see.. *cross my fingers*

tml evening we may be bringing d jap guys to BT hill so mum said i cant be home late. i miss schooling. i miss math.

wats wrong wid my blardie family? like shut the hell up! i’m not lazy in looking for a blardie fuckin’ job ok? get that straight!!! for goodness’ sake! stop fuckin’ around n asking y i’d rather go out n play than going out to look for a job lar! my goodness’ !! i don’t fuckin’ play around every single day ok? i am seriously looking for a job already. why cant u guys juz shut the hell up??!!! i’m stressed out enough already! okay??!! believe it or not my being unemployed is more stressful and taxing for me rather than you! and i tink i DO feel the stress more than you! so shut up! and let me do wat i have to do! fine??!! you got absolutely no say in this.

i don’t like cats anymore. not my house cat anyway.

Dear bird,

I’m really sorry that i couldn’t save u in time.. sure you were still alive when i saved you.. but ur injuries were so bad.. i’m sorry i didn’t save u earlier and maybe spare you from some of the pain.. i was so sad when i saw your intestines falling out of your small body.. you were so small and helpless in my palm.. and terrified, i could tell. i’m sorry for all the pain that i put you through. staying alive for 12 hours after that sort of injury must have been so much more than just painful. if i helped you earlier, mayb your injuries would be lighter.. so maybe you wouldn’t have died that night.. mayb you could even recover and fly back to your warm nest, to your family members.. i’m so so so sorry for everything that i may have been able to do but which i did not, or could not.. it’s been three days since you left this world and i still cry when i think of you. almost every little thing reminds me of you now my dearest birdie.. i hope that you’re in a nice place in heaven/paradise.. i wish and i sincerely pray and pray and pray really really hard that you’re in a place where no cats can chew off your tail, or bring you/your family harm, or threaten you in any way. i wish that you’re in a place where you wouldn’t have to be subject to heavy rain and cold weather and that you’d be in a place with warmth, adequate supply of food, and in a safe haven. i know it’s too late for me to say all this, but really, what could i have done? my heart aches for you. i feel so guilty knowing that i might have been able to do something earlier. but i don’t know what it would be. i thought you were long gone till i saw you flap your wings in such a desperate attempt to flee from my cat. i’m SO sorry, truly. i am. maybe i saved you too late. maybe i could have been there earlier for you. i really didn’t know any better. and i did try my best. i did everything i could. i cried so hard for you that night. i fell asleep in my tears. but i also know that no amount of tears can make up to you for your pain, the torture, your fears.. i also know that no amount of tears can bring you back to life.. but i guess i just wanna let you know that i’m missing you and thinking about you a lot. and i’m so so SO guilt-ridden right now.. and for the rest of my life.. i understand that your death was part of nature’s law. but if understanding facts and laws of life can help ease the pain or make me simply less guilty, then……….. i don’t feel it. and i don’t think i ever will. ‘cos i don’t think that anything can do that. i hope you’re in a far far better place. watch over me.

if and when i have my own child in the future, i hope that you will be my child.. so that i can take the greatest care possible of you for all my life.

WO HEN FAN!!! ZHEN DE HEN FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A trust once broken can NEVER be d same anymore…….

it’s true……………….

all i want is to know whether my feelings are requitted…

i got this super big problem.. I CAN’T SEEM TO TAG MY OWN BLOG!! anyone has any idea why????? urh anyways mayb is because my com got prob or my blog got prob so if anyone has got any idea pls tell me ok????? thanks!! =))

oh and my sis is SO discussing maplestory wid her friend on the phone beside me now and it’s DRIVING ME NUTS!!! haha.
i’m SO evil. shld change my bad habit. haha. can’t help it. and my bro’s hooked on it too. i guess i juz haf more self-discipline than them. *ego!!**content*

oh and it’s time for dinner. and there’s wanton! one of my fav foods. n toking abt wanton, i miss neptun’s dimsum!!! *sobz*

k.

i shall stop trying to act pathetic.

hmm wm called me in d aft when i was mapling to see if i was joining them for lunch. and… NO~ ‘cos they didn’t ask me n they didn’t call me n they didn’t tell me aniting! haha. anyways, got lunch appointment wid them tml! and prolly for every day lar.. haha. i don’t mind!!!

bt i’m SO hungry so i’m SO going to go to dinner now. tara~

i think after 18 years of misery and lack of self-esteem i’m finally accepting myself for who i am.. somehow asking people to accept me for who i am seems fake ‘cos even i don’t do that.. so i guess now i’m finally coming to terms with all my bad points and starting to appreciate my good ones.. urm.. i sound ego rite? but i do feel that ppl need to be ego at certain, *appropriate* times..

and since i listened to “under the sea” this morning on my beloved mp3, this song is currently replaying itself an irritating number of times in my head.. “under da sea, under da sea… ” sighx! oh not to mention somehow i tink of all the counter melodies more than i tink of the melody itself.. i juz love counter-melodies.. =)) and the harmonies.. haha.. i somehow think that they add depth to the whole piece of music, letting it be a lot more than juz a plain line of melody.. =)) i hope people out there will agree with me..

anyways, i’m feeling kinda good about myself other than my fat tummy, gross complexion, weird hair, fat thighs, gigantic arms, and a not-so-apparent-chest.. =) urm oh and my specs are kinda getting in the way as well.. shld change to a rimless one soon. haha.

oh urh ya!, had lunch wid wm, francis and xl!! jap! urh.. not bad lar.. quite nice.. haha.. pity they only had one hour lunch break. sighx. and i still owe wm a treat.. and.. went for a haircut, bought this treatment conditioner. and i am currently BROKE!!! not to mention it was not the price that i expected *nor my mum, but cross my fingers and hope she doesn’t find out about it* and i tink d guy quite nice so i’m like.. seriously considering going back to get my hair done nxt time i wanna do so. so yeah. oh and apparently it’s strictly by appointment and me and wh were really lucky to be able to walk in and say : i want a haircut! and get it done. not to mention i had to wait gazillion eons for my turn. but.. yeah! i guess it was nice. but i LOVE wh’s hair! so funky! i find lar.. n i tink quite jappy as well.. oh n she’s starting to call me “xiao wan zi”.. haha..